You can't rewind time

The obituary was published in the paper yesterday. Roses for dad's love of gardening (the programme leaflet for the funeral has apple blossom on it, perfect as dad grew many apple trees from seeds -- and managed to get a few trees with tasty apples, which is said to be very difficult due to most apples being hybrids today).

Still hard to believe it all, it's like dad is just still at hospital waiting to get better and come home as the days can feel so normal, so like what they always feel like, but all the practicalities surrounding the funeral makes it slowly sink in I think. Choosing songs and psalms is really sad as they're either very sad songs or they make me remember other funerals.

The church bells rang for dad last week, själaringning as it's called, and it's settled by the local rev that he will be included already in this year's all saints' day/Allhelgona service despite it being before the funeral. As is common here, the tacksägelse (thanksgiving) will be the first sunday after the funeral (in other parts of Sweden the ceremony of the priest naming the name of the deceased in the sunday service is done one week after the death) -- which just happens to be Father's Day in Sweden... Not that we've ever celebrated Father's and Mother's Day but still.

And, yes, I did get shop newsletters saying stuff like "what does your dad wish for", "your father will want this" and "the perfect presents for dad this year" just days after he passed away.

And to top it off, between today and the funeral is my birthday...

Yeah, autumn isn't as lovely and exuberant as it usually is.