If I had a birthday wishlist...

 ...I know one thing I'd put at the top (apart from money to buy beads): a Paperblanks journal. Unlined of cause: I always prefer to both write and sketch on unlined paper. They are so gorgeous. Expensive, but gorgeous. If you haven't seen or heard about them you really ought to check them out. Last time my sis and I went to a book shop that carries these, we spent ages just drooling over them and touching them. We didn't really have the money to buy any so after a while we had to pull ourselves away from the shelf before succumbing to the urge to purchase one or two or...

But here's the thing: I also know that when I buy an "eye candy" journal or notebook I desire, I don't dare using it because then it will be all "spent up". It's like with special beads, I want to save them for something special -- and end up never daring to use them. Just having them sit there waiting for the perfect idea, worthy of these special things, and never really believing that what I do at the moment is special enough. Using them for something mundane would be sacrilege! Still, I covet those journals so bad. And I do think I've learnt to accept that notebooks are meant to be used, no matter how special or trivial the notes are. It's not desecration to write on a pristine, white page of an expensive notebook -- even if it almost feels that way sometimes. I'm using them, which is what they were made for. It's silly to buy a notebook and then buy some more cheap ones as I can't write in the expensive one...

(And, no, I don't write a personal journal. I want the book as a sketch book and to jot down ideas and texts for stories etc.)

So I do hope I get at least a little money from my parents and grandma so I can buy one without feeling guilty for not saving the money for more important things. I know a lot of stuff that I probably should prioritize over a luxury journal, but sometimes you need something beautiful to brighten up your day.

But something I also really hope to be able to buy soon is books. I love reading books, both fiction and non-fiction (history, science, cultural geography, beading, jewellery making, embroidery etc). If you're curious, part of my vast wish list can be found here. It's pretty much focusing on how-to books rather than fiction (so very little fantasy) and because it's a british shop, there are no Swedish titles. My unabridged book wishlist is many times longer. In fact, it's not even one complete list, but comprised of book reviews I cut out of mags and papers, bookmarks on my browser and the Book Depository wishlist -- so not even I know how many books there's really on it! (The one below is: not a cheap embroidery technique to learn, but I really like some of the modern goldwork. Feels luxurious to work with threads like that too.)

I'm not expecting to get a lot of presents or money for my birthday, but I'm hoping it'll be enough to buy a book or two -- and hopefully a journal too. Knowing myself, though, I think it's much more likely I buy books and supplies than a journal, no matter how many years I've wanted one, as beads and books feel more useful than a blank journal. But if I ever get a real job and real income one day, I know a Paperblanks journal will be one of the first things I'll buy.


PS! Yes, I stole those photos of the Paperblanks website. Hope they don't mind it too much... That's actually not the journal/notebook I've been oogling the most, but I love the colours of the books in the Romantic Sensibility collection.